


You Can Make Me Whole Again

by embro



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Curses, Fluff, M/M, Magic, Merman Harry, Unrequited Love, but not really duh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 14:02:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10618449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embro/pseuds/embro
Summary: Harry loudly announced "Speaking of turning negatives into positives and making the most of a dire situation, I was thinking I'm going to try having a proper swim after work tonight. See what mermaid me has got. Want to come watch?""Umm – I don't know. It's still a bit freaky for me. And I feel guilty every time we talk about it, I don't know what seeing it is going to do."Harry rolled his eyes. "Quit being so bloody selfish. All you have to do is look at it, I've got to live it."Or the one where Harry loves Louis, Louis' not exactly interested, and all hope is lost when Harry grows a fish tail one day.Typical.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm baaaaaaaack!!!!
> 
> Big thanks to [Tania ](http://iaminfactlouis.tumblr.com)  
> for all the motivation!

Harry considered moving towns for not the first time that Summer. Brighton was just so bloody busy in the peak season, which seemed to get longer every year. All those people bustling about, selfie sticks in hand as they strode down the pier, kids screaming and trying to catch each other with ice-cream-covered hands – it was Harry's idea of hell.  

He told Louis as much when they were sitting on the pebbled beach together, newspaper-wrapped chips soggy with vinegar in their laps.  

"Don't they have jobs?" Harry snapped, waving a long chip in the direction of the pier. 

Louis snorted. "It's Half Term. And a Sunday. And quit complaining, the only reason your doughnut stand has survived all these years is because of this lot." 

"Churros," Harry corrected him. "It's a churros stand." 

"Which you should probably get back to," Louis said, raising both eyebrows. "You'll have a huge queue by now."  

Harry shrugged, and picked up another chip. From Louis' lap, of course, 'cause somehow his always tasted better. He said as much when Louis grabbed his wrist and took a bite of the chip Harry had tried to steal.  

Louis rolled his eyes and swapped their chip packets wordlessly. 

Harry picked at previously-Louis'-but-now-his chips, letting the silence linger until he just had to say "Now they don't taste as nice, either! I think maybe they just taste better out of your lap." 

Louis made a sound like he’d choked, face quickly going pink with embarrassment. “I gotta go,” he grunted, folding the paper around his chips. “Work’ll be wondering where I am.” 

Harry didn’t even bother hiding his disappointment, frowning deeply as Louis pushed himself up from the ground.  

“I’ll see you later then,” Louis said with a little wave, smiling small at the site of Harry’s sulking. “Come round when you close up and I’ll sneak you a drink.” 

Harry’s face instantly brightened. “When does your shift end? I want to have a quick swim before I come.” 

“A swim?” Louis snorted. “It’s gonna be freezing! I know it's Summer, mate, but it's an  _English_  Summer.” Harry just had to raise an eyebrow in response, because that was all Louis needed. “Right, I forgot. You love the ocean more than you do your own balls. Don’t come crying to me if they shrivel up and turn inside out." 

"I won't, 'cause I know you'll have no sympathy for them. I need someone who'll make them feel all better." 

Louis cleared his throat and looked away, giving Harry a lovely view up his nose. "I don’t finish 'til nine tonight so you’ve got time. I’ll see you before then, yeah?” 

“Yeah," Harry sighed. 

The thing between Harry and Louis was so bloody confusing. They’d met at Uni in a naturopathy unit. Louis was studying nursing but took the class as an elective, while it was a requirement for Harry as a nutrition student. Harry knew almost everyone in the class, having studied with them for nearly three years, so he immediately noticed Louis. Not only because he was new to the bunch, of course, but also because he was incredibly gorgeous.  

He’d been wearing a maroon knitted jumper and black skinnies, hair soft and floppy and caramel coloured. He was tanned and blue eyed and Harry almost fell in love with him right then and there. The only reason he didn’t was because he sorta had a thing going with someone else, but he’d ended it a few months later when he realised the guy couldn’t really compare to Louis. 

Louis had just been so funny, making Harry laugh from the first time they spoke. He was sweet, too, always quick to notice if Harry ever felt down. 

He could be incredibly flirty, but whenever Harry tried anything Louis would make an excuse to leave.  

So they’d never been more than friends, despite the fact that they’d moved to Brighton together after Uni, sharing a flat and everything. It sort of made them feel better about themselves, that neither had really followed the career path they'd both studied for. Harry had spent three years of his life learning about nutrition and ended up opening a churros stand called  _Churros Up_ , for fuck's sake!  

Originally, of course, Harry had been upset about Louis' lack of interest in him, though it didn’t take him long to realise that Louis didn't show interest in anyone at all. Harry caught him checking people out, and Louis worked behind the bar at a restaurant so he was constantly being flirted with, but whenever Harry asked him about it Louis would just sigh or roll his eyes and change the subject to Harry’s love life. 

Or lack of one, because it was hard trying to date when he was almost certain he was already in love with the undateable. 

Harry's arse was starting to ache, he'd been sitting on the rocky beach so long, so he pushed himself up and dusted his jeans off. By then Louis was well and truly gone, so he scrunched up his rubbish and chucked it in the first bin he came across. 

Louis had been right: there was a massive queue outside his stand, probably twenty customers at least. 

He tied his apron round his waist and got to work, trying to put all his thoughts into what his hands were doing instead of where they would rather be.  

\--- 

Harry finished later than he would have liked, only stopping when he'd completely run out of stock, so he didn't end up having a swim before going to visit Louis.  

Who was behind the bar, looking bored out of his mind. 

It was one of those restaurants that was more for breakfast and lunch meals during the day and tapas in the evenings, so usually Louis was incredibly busy when Harry stopped in for a visit. 

At seeing Harry, Louis brightened immensely, waving him over with one hand and grabbing a glass with the other. He began pouring Harry a pint before he'd even sat down on a stool. 

"Where is everyone?" Harry asked as a greeting. 

Louis pushed the beer towards him as he said "There was a street magician outside who drew everyone away. Don't know why they never came back though, probably moved on to somewhere else." 

"So do you think you'll be able to leave early?" 

"Nah, Will called in sick so I'm the only one behind the bar 'til closing." 

Harry sighed. "I was hoping you'd be able to help me make up a fresh batch for tomorrow." 

"You sell out again?" 

"Yeah, the tourists bloody love them." 

"They are pretty delicious." 

A waitress interrupted them with a bunch of drink orders, which Louis quickly filled and popped on the tray for the lady to deliver. When she left, Louis asked "So you're gonna spend your Friday night making doughnuts alone, then?" 

"Guess so, since my best buddy has decided to work instead of entertain me," Harry sulked, but the effect was ruined by the huge grin on his face. 

Which dropped when Louis asked "You could always call that mate of mine, he's always texting me every time I put a picture up of the two of us." 

Harry rolled his eyes and tried not to sound too disappointed when he said "Only 'cause you use filters that make me look more tanned than I am. And nah, I told you, I'm not really interested in anyone at the moment." 

Which was an outright lie, of course. Harry watched Louis' expression carefully for any sort of change, but Louis just smiled. "You're married to your work, aren't you?" 

"Something like that," Harry sighed. "Why haven't you dated this guy, then?" 

Louis shrugged, then busied himself by wiping down the countertop. "Not my type. I'll be back in a second, just got to talk to my boss for a tick. She's looking real pissed off for some reason." 

And at that Louis left Harry alone to wallow.  

He considered, not for the first time, just outright telling Louis how he felt. He'd read enough books and seen enough movies to know that it was the quickest way to end the pining he was feeling, whether it resulted in a confession of similar feelings or a rejection, but Harry wasn't quite prepared to deal with the latter.  

And besides, it wasn't quite as easy as how the movies made it out. They had a good thing going on, the two of them, and it would be far too depressing if Harry were to tell Lou how he felt only to have the other distance himself further.  

"Anyone sitting here?" Someone asked, and Harry shook his head without even looking away from his beer. They brushed past him as they sat down on the stool, a little too close for comfort considering the entire bloody bar was free of loiterers.  

He felt Louis' return before he heard or saw it, and only then looked up to grin at his friend.  

"Ahh," whoever it was beside him sighed, and left without another word. 

"Who was that?" Louis asked, returning the grin with his own. 

"Dunno. So what was she mad about?" 

"Will's pissed her off majorly, so it's nothing I've done at least. Still gotta cop her bad mood though." 

"I take it you didn't even bother asking her if you could leave early?" Harry asked hopefully. 

"Didn't have to, she said we'll close as soon as this last lot leave."  

And Harry's grin somehow got wider. "So you'll be able to help me? Make the churros?" 

"Umm," Louis went slightly pink, eyes quickly dropping to the bar top. "Tiff's only letting us close early so we can go out with her. There's a new bar she wants to suss out, she's basically paying us to drink. You can come of course, but I know you've got batter to mix or whatever." 

"Oh," Harry frowned, because it sounded like Louis rescinded his invitation as soon as he'd offered it. "Yeah, okay, you're right. I should probably get home and do some prep." 

And, as Harry had expected but hoped not to happen, Louis was all too quick to nod his head. "Yeah, you'll regret it tomorrow if you don't." 

"Yeah," was all Harry said in reply, sculling down the rest of his beer and pushing his empty glass towards Louis. "I'll see you when you get in, I'll probably still be up." 

Harry tried not to let it bother him, but something he'd noticed since moving to Brighton was that Louis was literally all he had. Owning his own food stand made it incredibly hard to make friends, as not surprisingly having no co-workers or employees made work an unlikely place to meet people who wanted friendship over a stick of hot cinnamon doughnut.  

It meant when Louis was busy, he had absolutely nothing to do.  

Apart from go home and bake, of course, but he wasn't exactly in the mood to be alone.  

It was why he asked Louis, as he stood up from the stool, "Wanna give me your friend's number then?" 

And hence how, not twenty minutes later, he was meeting said friend at a small jazz bar a few streets away. 

The friend was too short and twinky for Harry's tastes, with a soft lisp and big bleached-white teeth, but he was nice enough to talk to. He was a little too self absorbed, himself his favourite topic to discuss, so Harry drunk a little more than he usually would in hopes it'll make the night go quicker.  

After nearly thirty minutes of talking about the guy's wardrobe, Harry decided that avoiding loneliness wasn’t really worth this sort of company, so he made an excuse to leave and left him with little more than a pat on the head. 

Which was condescending enough to destroy any interest Louis' friend may have possibly had in him. 

He probably should feel guilty that he never asked for his name, but he was sure the man had already told him when they'd first met and he thought it would be rude to ask for it again. 

He pondered that as he walked along the beach, with just the right amount of buzz beneath his skin to keep him warm. Is it worse to forget someone's name and ask for it again, or pretend you know someone's name, avoiding bringing it up, then using Facebook later to find it out? 

He plopped down on his arse and pulled his phone out, scrolling through Louis' friends until he found him. Peter was his name, and Harry's finger hovered over the  _add friend_  button before he decided against it. It would probably lead the guy on. 

He looked through Louis' pictures instead, corners of his lips turning upwards at the sheer amount that featured himself too.  

While Louis did have other friends, it was pretty obvious Harry was his best, so there really was no point worrying about it.  

And Harry did have more friends, they just lived out of town. He'd been worrying about nothing. And besides, he enjoyed his own company almost as much as he enjoyed Louis'. He liked being able to watch what was going on around him, liked discussing things in his own head. He was most at peace when he was alone – it was why he liked swimming so much.  

He never felt more alone than when he was out there in the ocean, and he liked that feeling. It was the easiest way to clear his head, to get rid of all negative thoughts and just be in the present.  

It was what he craved most at that moment, that clarity, so without further thought he stripped off until he was completely naked. It was nearly midnight at that point, and he was pretty far from the main tourist spots, so he figured a nude swim wouldn’t shock anyone or get him arrested. He'd done it plenty of times before and not been seen. 

The jolt of cold he felt when he first walked into the water was like a kick to the stomach, but within seconds it was gone, replaced with a strange warmth, so comforting that when he closed his eyes he felt as if he was in front of his mum's fireplace at Christmas time, hot chocolate in hand and woolly blanket covering his legs.  

He lay back in the water and let the waves push and pull him however they saw fit, muscles relaxing and stress draining from his fingertips, mind emptying just as he'd hoped.  

Until Louis popped into it, of course, but all that did was make him smile and warm him through even further.  

He had no idea how long he'd been there, whether it was minutes or hours, but eventually the alcohol that had been in his system was replaced with logic.  

As much as he wished he could, he wouldn't be able to sleep like that in the water, and he needed to be up bright and early to get started on baking.  

He forced his eyes open groggily, and dunked his head under the surface in a last ditch effort to wake himself up, but what he saw in that water made him scream. 

There was a giant tail where his legs should have been.  

A green one, like Ariel or some shit.  

He inhaled in preparation for his next scream, but instead of choking on the water like he should have, he  _breathed_ it. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw little bubbles trailing past his ears, and he slapped his hands to his neck to find gills beneath his fingers.  

Fucking  _gills._  

He brushed at them as if trying to wipe them off himself, and when he finally accepted that they weren't going anywhere, he lifted his head above the water and began hurriedly swimming towards the shore.  

Only he couldn’t see the shore. 

He'd floated out to the middle of bloody nowhere.  

It was that last wave of fear that pushed him past the ability of comprehension and into unconsciousness.  

\--- 

Harry had woken up to the sound of beeping and the smell of disinfectant and he knew exactly where he was. 

Which was better than a zoo, he supposed. 

He blearily blinked his eyes open and confirmed that, yep, he was in a hospital bed, and, nope, he didn't have a tail for legs. 

Jesus, it had all just been some kind of dream.  

He must have drowned at some point when he was drunkenly swimming, washed up on shore and been saved by some random.  

When he could finally draw his eyes from his feet, and after rubbing at his neck to reassure himself he was zero percent fish boy, he scanned the room around him.  

Louis was slumped in a chair in the corner of the room, fast asleep, still dressed in the clothes Harry had last seen him in. 

"Oi!" Harry called, and Louis startled awake. 

He looked so bloody happy and relieved that Harry sort of thought maybe near drowning was worth it just so he could see how much Louis cared. And for the way Louis was hugging him, too, so tight he couldn't move if he wanted to. 

Then Louis pulled back, forced his face into a frown, and whacked him lightly on the shoulder. "Why the fuck would you go out swimming at freezing o'clock you tit? You could have died!" And as if the realisation had just dawned on him, Louis' face fell and he returned to hugging him, whispering in his ear "If you drowned...  _fuck._ " 

"Yeah," was all Harry could say, because he got it. "It'd be pretty shit, wouldn't it? Me dead?" 

Louis pulled back and cleared his throat, eyes a little wet as he said "It really would be. You're not allowed to do that ever again." 

"All right, Dad," he joked, and Louis whacked his arm a little harder.  

"I'm serious! Who do you think would have to tell your Mum?" 

"Oh," Harry replied simply, smile falling from his lips as quickly as it had appeared. "Hadn't really thought of that. But I also hadn't intended on drowning, so." 

Louis cocked his head to the side and frowned thoughtfully. "In the movies, people's voices are always croaky after they drown. Like, from vomiting up water and stuff." 

"That's the thing," a voice came from the doorway and both of them jumped. The doctor was standing there, sheepish smile on her face. She entered the room properly then, approaching the bed as she said "Sorry, I just wanted to give you two a moment." 

"So, what's the thing, exactly?" Harry asked her, watching as she picked up the clipboard from the end of his bed and examined it. 

"You didn't drown. There wasn’t a trace of water in your lungs. You were found starkers on the beach this morning, completely drenched. It's most likely you passed out from the cold, so we were worried about hypothermia, but there isn't even any traces of that. What's the last thing you remember?" 

Harry opened his mouth to relay his dream, but Louis' eyes were steadily fixed on his and sense got the better of him. "I  _think_ the last thing I remember is floating in the water." 

"You told me he washed up a mile from where I found his clothes this morning!" Louis suddenly blurted. "How can he have floated  that far and not drowned?" 

She shrugged. "Beats me. I'm just looking at the facts here, and the facts say that Harry didn't drown, hasn't got hypothermia, and is completely healthy enough to leave when he wants." 

"Great!" Harry announced, swinging his legs from the bed. They felt a little wobbly, but they weren't a tail, so. "Where's my stuff?" 

"I took them home when I got you some fresh clothes. They're in that bag," Louis waved his hand towards a chair at the corner of the room.  

Harry changed in the small bathroom joined to his room, listening to Louis and the doctor discuss him through the thin wall. Louis was asking loads of questions, clearly very concerned, but he was also incredibly confused. He kept asking, over and over, if it was possible for Harry to float that far in a few hours. The doctor basically told him that anything was possible, and yet Louis wouldn't take that as an answer.   

Harry popped on the jumper Louis gave him and walked out of the room, acting as if he'd heard nothing.   

But he wasn't a very good actor, so Louis murmured "I'm just worried."  

"I know, but I'm fine."  

"Just keep an eye on him and call me if anything's wrong," the doctor said to Louis.   

Who threw his hands up in the air and cried "But you just said nothing's wrong! What could be wrong?" 

Warmth spread through Harry, and he smiled a little pleased smile before saying "Louis, relax. Thanks for your help, Doctor. I'll come in if I feel off." 

"Great. Have a good weekend, you two!" 

Harry knew he would, what with how Louis was fawning over him.  

When they got back the flat Louis was pushing him down onto the sofa, blabbering about how he was going to make them a tea and heat up the chicken soup he bought from the Tesco Express around the corner.  

"Its what they feed sick people in the movies," Louis had explained as he popped it in the basket with the rest of the supposed cures for illness. Like orange juice and paracetamol and whisky, of course. 

"I'm not sick, Lou," Harry protested, because he thought he better put up at least some kind of protest for the sake of pretence. He liked Louis' babying, actually, but he didn't want to say that 'cause then it would most likely stop.  

Louis tuttted. "Better to be safe and sorry." 

" _Than_ sorry," Harry corrected.  

And Louis shrugged, plonking it all down at the self checkout.  

Harry appreciated it, especially when he actually ate the soup. It wasn't the best by any means, but it did warm him up nicely. It had only really occurred to him when he'd sat down amongst the plush cushions, but he was bloody exhausted. It felt like he hadn't slept in days, so he ate the soup quickly and popped his bowl on the side table before throwing his legs up over Louis' lap and laying his head against the armrest.  

"You still want a tea?" Louis asked as he placed his hands on Harry's calves, rubbing them lightly. 

"Nah, just keep doing that," Harry sighed. "Feels nice." 

He closed his eyes then, and was just about to nod off when Louis asked "Is there something you want to tell me?" 

"Like what?" Harry replied through a yawn. 

"Like... did anything happen between you and Peter that resulted in you ending up in the water at midnight? For example." 

That made Harry open his eyes and sit up. Only slightly, so Louis' hands wouldn't leave his legs. "What?" 

Louis shrugged, and looked away. He resumed petting Harry's calves, probably so he had something to do.  

"I left Peter at the bar at, like, ten or something. What do you think happened?" 

"No idea," he sighed. "I'm just trying to make sense of it. Did I do something wrong?" 

"Lou, I was pissed and thought it would be a good idea to have a dip. That was it. No need to worry," Harry assured him, placing a hand on Louis'. "I really am fine. Just tired." 

"All right," Louis said, but he didn't sound entirely convinced.  

"Put the telly on if you like, it might distract you. I just wanna lay here if that's okay, my room's a mess." 

That made Louis grin. "It really is. Took me ages to find something for you to wear." 

"Pretty sure this jumper you picked out for me needed a wash three wears ago. We'll do our laundry later, if you like?" 

"I, umm - " Louis' stuttered, face pinching up in guilt. "I have work tonight. I can try to cancel if you like, but I think Will genuinely is sick so the chance of Tiff letting me have the night off is pretty low."  

Harry's face dropped. "Oh." 

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll call her now. Tell her you basically drowned and I've got to take care of you." 

"No," Harry snapped, startling them both with the harshness of it. He was just disappointed and a little pissed off he was going to have to be alone again, but he knew he'd most likely spend the evening sleeping so it wasn't like he was going to be any fun. He was a lot calmer, yet still a little cold, when he added "You don't need to take care of me. I can take care of myself. Just go to work." 

"I really am sorry though, mate. I completely forgot about it. She asked me last night if I could fill in for him and I took the shift. I obviously wouldn't have if I knew..." 

"Lou, stop. It's fine. I'm fine. Shut up and watch some telly." 

So Louis did, and Harry closed his eyes and tried to fall back to sleep. 

But he was interrupted again by Louis, who asked "So how did it go with Peter, then?" 

Harry cracked one eye open. "He's a bit... much." 

"How do you mean?" Louis asked, smile turning up the corners of his lips.  

"You know," Harry sighed. "He's too flamboyant, and self absorbed. And  _boring_." 

Louis actually laughed at that. "You know you're talking about my friend, right?" 

"Yeah, sorry. Still don't know how you can put up with him though." 

"He's all right, but I get what you're saying. I'm glad you gave it a go, though. I'll stop badgering you about him now." 

"Good," Harry replied. "Is that all? Can I sleep now?"  

"Yes, if you have to," he grinned. "I bet you're gonna dream about him now." 

Harry rolled his eyes. "Can't be worse than the dream I had last night." 

"What was that?" Louis asked, cocking his head to the side. 

"I'll tell you later, it's too weird and I'm too tired." 

"All right, I'll stop pestering you. And I'll spend all day with you tomorrow making doughnuts." 

"Fuck, why'd you have to remind me?" Harry groaned. "Can't believe I'll be closed all weekend. I'll lose so much money."  

Louis frowned in thought, then he announced "I'll make them while you're sleeping! At least then you'll be able to open tomorrow." 

"Yeah?" Harry asked, grin wide and hopeful. "You wouldn't mind? Even if you just make the batter and leave it in the fridge I'll be able to do the rest at the stand." 

Quick as a flash Louis was pushing Harry's legs off him and jumping up from the sofa. "It's decided then. You sleep, and I'll work." 

And even though Louis was always incredibly loud, banging bowls against the countertop and swearing over the electric mixer when batter splattered everywhere, Harry slept soundly, huge smile plastered on his face, dreams of tails long forgotten. 

\--- 

Harry felt disgusting. 

He'd woken up at about 5am that morning, which was far earlier than he usually woke, but he'd been asleep for at least twelve hours so it made sense. His body had decided he had enough sleep, so he got up off the sofa and inspected the fridge for something to eat.  

After making himself a sandwich, he poured all the batter into containers and packed them into carry bags. He figured an early start would be good, considering he'd missed the entire day before, so he quickly changed his clothes and began the trek to his stand.  

He realised too late that it had been nearly two days since his last shower, so he was absolutely hanging for one by the time he'd finally sold the last of his stock. 

Louis had been texting him through the day, not even trying to hide the fact that he was worried, so Harry made sure to send him a text before heading home.  

He was grateful in a way that Louis was still at work, because it meant that he could strip off as soon as he walked through his front door.  

He threw his clothes on the floor of his bedroom with the rest of them, grabbed a clean towel out of the linen cupboard, and nearly tripped on the rim of the bath in his eagerness to climb into it so he could shower.  

And as soon as he had the shower on, he was slipping down into the bath. Because there, where his legs should have been, was that bloody tail. 

Harry could only blink at it as the water poured down his face. 

It still  _felt_ like he had legs, he wasn't senseless from the waist down or anything, but it quite obviously didn't  _look_ like he had legs.  

Harry was bent at the hips, back flat on the bath floor with the tail up in the sky. He tentatively raised a hand and placed it on where his lap should be, feeling the silky smoothness of it.  

It had teal scales that glimmered beneath his fingers, and he ran his hand up until he was touching his bare torso.  

He no longer had a belly button, he realised with a start, but he supposed there were more important things at hand. 

Like the fact that he no longer had any toes, or that he just had one long fishy limb to get around with rather than two human ones. 

He tried wriggling his toes but nothing happened, so he told his brain to bend his feet forward and back. The tail twitched, the fanned translucent end folding up and flapping back down as he rolled what should have been his ankles.  

"The fuck?" He groaned as it flapped before him. How the fuck was he going to get out of this one? It was most definitely there, not just some figment of his imagination, and he was well beyond having a panic attack about it.  

He just wanted it gone, simple as that.  

He bent his 'knees' and the tail bent, the middle section coming up and the end folding under like he'd hoped. It basically worked like legs, for the most part, but there was no way he would be able to walk with it.  

Or swim, unless he flooded his house out.  

He considered it only for a second, deciding instead to turn off the shower with the taps just above his head.  

"Christ," he sighed, thunking his head back against the bath floor. "What am I going to do with a fucking tail?" 

He experimented with it for a while, turning it this way and that, categorising the motions that were made when his brain told it to do different things. Like when he focused on kicking, the end of the tail flapped up and down very quickly. Or when he lifted his ex-legs as high as they would go, the tail lifted right up into the air and well above his head. 

He pressed on it harder with his hands, tried pinching it like he would skin, picked at the scales to see if they would come off, but all that just made him do was yelp in pain. It was definitely part of him, whether he liked it or not.  

A memory of that first night, that one he thought was a dream, flashed into his mind. 

 _The gills,_ he thought, and slapped both hands to his neck.  

They were there all right, three long slits along each side of his neck, and Harry wasn't brave enough to stick his fingers in them.  

He wanted to see them though, but the only way he could do that was to get to the mirror.  

Which was above the sink, way out of his reach. 

He put his hands to the rim of the bath and pushed himself up, but his hands slipped and he went sliding back down the bath again.  

He started smaller, pushing himself up into a seated position this time before taking hold of the side of the bath.  

He used all his strength to pull himself up then flung the  _human_ half of himself out and onto the tiled floor. The tail naturally came after, the weight of it causing him to tumble out completely.  

Harry cheered in victory, but wasn't quite ready to stop there. He got into a sitting position, took hold of the sink with his hands, and pulled himself up with all his might.  

But he wasn't strong enough, and he went crashing down onto the tiles again.  

He groaned in pain, having hit his funny bone against the bath, and gave himself a short break to recuperate.  

There was no way that was going to happen, not when he didn’t have the strength of his legs to help hold his weight, so he came up with another plan. 

He would have to pull himself along the floor until he got to his bedroom, where there was a mirror hanging on the inside of his closet.  

He crawled over to the door and pushed it open, then wormed the front half of his body out into the hallway. 

Which is when the front door swung open with a bang, and Louis walked in.  

His eyes widened at seeing Harry on the floor like that, and he immediately came rushing over. 

"No!" Harry yelled, and Louis stopped dead in his tracks. "Just – don't come any closer." 

But Louis did, only slower, as he asked "What's wrong?" 

"Stop! I – I fell. Just stop. I'm – I'm naked. Close your eyes." 

"For fuck's sake, Haz, I've seen you nude loads of times." 

"Fucking STOP Lou!"  

Which worked, because finally Louis halted. He held his arms out, like he was trying to appease a small child or a scared dog or something, and then asked in a gentle voice "Can I help you up?" 

"No," Harry said desperately. "Don't come any closer, I mean it." 

But Louis did, of course, too nice to be able to do nothing. And when he got close enough to see the slits on Harry's neck, his eyes widened impossibly further. But he stopped moving, which gave Harry some comfort. "What – what is that?"  

"A new tattoo?" Harry tried, and Louis shook his head.  

"No it's not. It's – what is it? Get up, Haz, you're freaking me out." 

"I can't." 

And before Harry could even get out another word, Louis was at his side and putting his hands beneath Harry's armpits. 

But he looked up at the rest of Harry and dropped him in shock.  

"I can explain," Harry said quickly, as Louis began to back away. "Well, I can't. It just sort of happened? Just let me figure it out and it will..." 

"It just happened?" Louis asked shakily. "When?" 

"When I got in the shower. And probably the other night, when I was drunk swimming. But that's it, I swear. I'm going to work it out and we'll be fine." 

"I can't – I can't, Haz," was all Louis said before he ran out the of their flat like his life depended on it.  

Harry flopped down onto the ground.  

How could Louis just leave him like that? Harry liked to think that if his best mate turned into some weird magical creature one day, he'd be there to help him sort it out.  

"You're a shit fucking friend, Louis!" Harry screamed, and used his anger to boost himself forward.  

He wasn't just going to lie there on the tiles, he was going to get to his bedroom and – and do  _something_. He wasn't sure what, exactly, but it would be – really good.  

His bedroom was only two doors down from the bathroom, so he didn't have far to pull himself along.  

When he got there he flipped around onto his back and just lay there for a moment, closing his eyes to help himself think. 

The last time it happened, he'd managed to turn human again, he just had to figure out  _how_. He'd been unconscious when he switched though, so he had no idea how long he remained that way for.  

Maybe it was time dependant. Maybe, after a certain amount of time with the tail, it would automatically switch back to legs. Or maybe they'd switch back when he was asleep.  

He let out a sigh, running his hands through his hair to push it out of his eyes.  

It was only slightly damp now, but it was still wet enough to stay where he moved it. 

"I guess we're stuck with each other for a bit," Harry muttered to his tail. There was no way he would be able to sleep any time soon, not with the issue he presently had weighing on his mind. 

Or issues, because he couldn't stop thinking about Louis.  

"Fucking arsehole," he grunted, and rolled himself onto his belly again. He needed to find his phone to give his supposed friend a piece of his mind.  

He found it in the back pocket of his jeans that he'd left on the floor, and when he unlocked the screen he was surprised to see a bunch of missed calls and texts from Louis. 

Without reading them, he immediately called Louis back. 

"What?" He snapped, before Louis could even say a thing. 

"Mate, I'm sorry, okay? But I'm fucking scared." 

"Well you can get fucked, Lou, because you're not the one with a tail! How do you think I feel?" 

"I know, I know. It's just – I'm coming home now, yeah? I've got some explaining to do." 

"Damn right you do," Harry murmured, all heat gone. He was still pissed, obviously, but he was also incredibly relieved to hear that Louis would be with him any moment.  

"Get yourself dry, it'll help," Louis said, and before Harry could ask how he knew he added "I'll be there in five." 

Then he hung up, and Harry dropped the phone on the floor beside him.  

As surprised as he was at Louis' command, he was also incredibly grateful just to have something to do. He pulled his duvet off his bed and wrapped himself in it, drying his hair with the shirt he'd worn that day.  

It was how Louis found him, cocooned inside a blanket, when he finally came home.  

"Did it work?" Louis asked hopefully, and Harry just glared at him in reply.  

"You're a real twat," he snapped. "Amongst other things. If you woke up with a tail one day I wouldn’t run out on you! I wouldn't make you feel like a freak!" 

"Good," Louis nodded. "Use that anger. Hate me." And he was deadly serious, not even a little bit sarcastic.  

"What?" 

"It'll help." 

"How the fuck would you know?" 

"'cause I'm the one that did this to you." 

And Harry didn't have anything to say back to that, could only furrow his brows in confusion.  

Which made Louis sigh, and plop down on the floor beside him. "How long?" 

"I – I told you. Just a few days a-" 

"I mean, how long have you been in love with me?" 

Harry went slack jawed, mouth dropping open in pure shock. He remained that way a few moments, until he could stutter out "That – that's a bit presumptuous of you, isn't it? How do you know – I mean, why would you think I – I – I don't know if - " 

"Harry," Louis chastised, raising an eyebrow. "How long?" 

"What's that got to do with anything?" Harry snapped. "Why the fuck do you want to talk about my feelings now? Since when has that mattered to you? I've got a fucking  _tail_ , Lou, there's more pressing matters at hand."  

"Yes, you've got a tail, and its because you're in love with me. I'm cursed, Haz. My whole family is." 

"N-not everything's about you, you know. My tail is – it's mine and – and - " and Harry gave up, not exactly sure what he was on about anyway. He sucked in a breath, released it, and breathed in again before asking "Your family is cursed?" 

"Your tail should be gone now," he murmured. "Your gills are." 

Harry pushed the duvet away, pleasantly surprised that Louis was right. His legs were back. But so was his cock, so he was quick to cover it up again. He sat up, duvet over his lap, so he could be eye level with Louis. They were mere inches apart, so Harry could reach out to Lou if he wanted, but he wasn't really ready to. And besides, if there was anyone who should be reaching out at this point, it was Louis.  

"How did you know that would work?" 

"Mum said you only become a merperson when you get wet, and you turn back into a human when you're dry again." 

"What else did she say?"  

"That it's only going to stop happening to you when you're not in love with me anymore," he sighed. "That's the only way the curse has been broken before." 

"It's happened to you before? To, like, a boyfriend or something, I mean." 

"No, not to me, but it's been happening to my family members for hundreds of years." 

Harry probably should have been more shocked to hear that magic existed, but considering he'd had a tail mere seconds before, he was easily able to forget everything he knew about reality.  

Louis took Harry's silence as a hint to go on. "It's why all Tomlinson's have been brought up by a single parent, basically. It happened to Mum when she was with my dad and had me, but he left her then so it didn't take her long to get rid of the tail. He didn't even explain it to her, she had to go to his mum to understand it. Mum told me this years ago, she warned me, and I wouldn’t have believed it for myself if it wasn’t for the pictures. I'd accepted that I was going to be alone forever, you know? I didn't want to do this to anyone and yet - " he looked to Harry's legs and sighed. "I'm sorry, for everything. I shouldn't have let you get so close." 

And Harry broke the gap then, flinging himself onto Louis and hugging him tight. "We'll work it out, okay? So that we don't have to leave each other." 

"It's the easiest way, Haz. It'll be so much easier for you if I just left." 

"No it won't. I can deal with a bloody tail, what I can't deal with is you leaving. I'll get over you eventually, I'm sure. Don't worry about that, it'll all be fine." 

Louis sniffled into Harry's neck, and murmured "You'd rather be a merperson than have me leave?" 

"'course," Harry said, pulling back only enough so that Louis could see his grin. "I like swimming, it'll be perfect! A bit of a nuisance when I shower and stuff, obviously, but a part from that it'll be like normal!" When Louis didn't look entirely convinced, Harry added "Let's just give it a go, yeah?" 

"All right," Louis finally answered, albeit unsurely. "We'll give it a go." 

\--- 

It wasn't exactly as easy as Harry had suggested. 

Firstly, there was the fact that he now had to avoid getting water splashed on him at all costs. He'd done a few experiments at home to see what his limits were, discovering that he could drink water and wash his hands fine without losing his legs, but there was no way he was going to risk anything out in public. If he suddenly dropped to the ground in the middle of Brighton pier, tail from the waist down, who knows where he would end up.  

And secondly, there was the teensy weensy fact that Louis now knew how Harry felt about him. Which made everything awkward. Louis wouldnt' flirt with him anymore, wouldn't compliment him, wouldn't joke around like he used to.  

"You know, it feels like I have lost you after all," Harry mused on their next fish and chip lunch break.  

They were sitting on the rented beach chairs rather than the stones, just to be safe, and Louis stopped bouncing on his to look at Harry. "What do you mean?" 

"You're acting differently." 

"How so?" 

"Like, you're holding back or something. You're not being yourself." 

"Oh," was Louis' simple reply, and he resumed his bouncing. 

Until Harry put a hand on his knee and stopped him. "Why?" 

"I'm trying to help you," he sighed.  

"Help me, what, die of boredom? Of loneliness? Of heartbreak?" He said dramatically, but Louis didn't laugh.  

He just looked at Harry pointedly and said "I'm trying to  _save_ you with heartbreak." 

Harry raised an eyebrow. "I don't think falling out of love is as simple as that." 

And Louis looked away again, cheeks flushed pink. 

It was all a bit odd for Harry, being able to talk about his feelings openly, and he knew that if it wasn’t for the whole tail thing he'd probably still be pining in secret. With Louis knowing like he did, it was sort of uplifting in a way. Also incredibly depressing of course, what with Louis not reciprocating his feelings, but he wasn't being pulled down by the weight of a secret.  

Except for the one he was hiding from the whole rest of the world, but that was different.  

"How did you all get cursed, anyway?" Harry asked, hoping to break the tension with some nitty gritty. 

"Mum said I'm from a family of pirates who used to hunt mermaids for their gold." 

"Right. Of course." 

"Don't laugh at me," Louis said with a scowl. "It's true!" 

"Ahh, yeah, I figured that when I grew a bloody tail! It’s just so – Disney. Peter Pan meets the Little Mermaid. You should sell the idea and make a fortune!" 

"Quit dicking about," Louis muttered, but at least he was smiling. "As I was saying, my great great whatever grandfather killed a particular mermaid's lover and she put a curse on the family so that whoever loves one of us will become one of them." 

"Makes sense," Harry nodded. "They'll become what you hate, eye for an eye and all that." 

"Yeah, but it's more of a punishment for the people who love us, isn't it? I feel like she missed the point. Would have been better to just turn that old dead grandpa guy into one or something." 

"Except imagine when he got home and found his wife had a tail! He'd have to decide whether to kill her 'cause she's something he hates, or accept her for what she is. I reckon she did a pretty good curse. I'd like to think I'd be able to come up with something as clever if I ever needed to do some smiting." 

"You're so fucking weird," Louis laughed. "Only you could find sense in all this madness." 

"Yeah," Harry grinned toothily. "You're probably right. I don't think she ever predicted a Tomlinson would find someone like me." 

Louis looked away, but not before Harry caught the sadness in his eyes and the dropping of his smile.  

So Harry loudly announced "Speaking of turning negatives into positives and making the most of a dire situation, I was thinking I'm going to try having a proper swim after work tonight. See what mermaid me has got. Want to come watch?" 

"Umm – I don't know. It's still a bit freaky for me. And I feel guilty every time we talk about it, I don't know what seeing it is going to do." 

Harry rolled his eyes. "Quit being so bloody selfish. All you have to do is look at it, I've got to  _live_ it." 

That was how Louis agreed to come to the beach with him late that night, surfboard under his arm in case he wanted to go out himself. It wasn't very likely, and Harry was ready to just carry the surfboard himself because of the fuss Louis was putting up, but Louis relented and Harry got his way.  

Harry didn't let himself build it up in his head, just walked straight down the stones and into the water before he could second guess.  

Once again, his legs disappeared without him even feeling it. No tingle, no ache, nothing. One second he had legs, the next he had a tail. Simple as that. 

"Wanna see it?" Harry called to Louis, who had sat down on the beach, arms wrapped around his knees to hold them to his chest. After a beat, Louis nodded his head so Harry flicked his tail up and out of the water. 

It was dark, and the water crashing onto the shore was loud, so Harry couldn't exactly make out any sort of response from Louis. He didn't scream and run away, though, so that was an improvement. 

"Did you see?" Harry yelled, and did it again for good measure. 

"Ye-yeah, I saw," Louis called back.  

But he didn't say anything else, so Harry swum a little deeper.  

It didn't take much tail movement to propel him forward. It was strong and fast, and Harry sort of loved it a bit.  

"I'm gonna test out the gills!" Harry yelled.  

And before Louis had time to reply, he ducked his head under the water and swum down.  

He had held his breath out of habit, and it took him a lot of self coaxing to be able to open his mouth and inhale. 

It felt exactly the same as breathing in air. He would suck water in through his mouth, but his body was only accepting the oxygen, propelling the rest of it out through his gills.  

He swum deeper, simply because he could. His eyes had somehow adapted too, he noticed. Everything was clear, like he was looking through the lens of a waterproof camera.  

He could see the sea weed and the rocks on the ocean floor with alarming clarity, could see the small fish swimming between the reeds and little crabs scuttling on the stones.  

He swam up to the surface, poking his head above the water to yell "I feel like fucking Ariel! I'm gonna have so many sea creature friends!" 

"Where are you?" Louis yelled back. "I can't see you!" 

So Harry made his way to the shore, waving until Louis finally waved back. "You coming in?"  

But he didn't really need to ask because Louis was already wading through the shallow water towards him. "Christ, it's cold." 

"I can't feel it," Harry shrugged. "Must be another mermaid power." 

"Y-you're taking this a-all so well," Louis stuttered through chattering teeth.  

"It's actually pretty cool, Lou. I can see under the water, and breath under it, and this tail makes me go way faster than my legs ever could." 

"Can I see I-it? A-again?"  

So Harry sidled up to where Louis was standing in the shallow water and leant back on his hands, pushing his tail high enough so that it hovered above the surface.  

"It's quite b-beautif-ful isn't it?" Louis murmured, sitting down beside Harry. He began to reach his hand out, then thought better of it and pulled it back. 

"You can touch it if you like, I don't mind." 

And that was all the prompting Louis needed before he had his hands on Harry's tail, running his fingers gently along it.  

It was one thing to touch it himself, but to have someone else's hands on his tail felt other worldly. He shivered, and Louis quickly drew his hands away. 

"It's fine, felt nice." 

"It's not s-slimy like I'd been e-expecting." 

Harry tried not to feel offended. "Yeah, it's really smooth." 

"And s-soft, somehow." 

"Your lips are turning blue, you know? Go sit on the beach if you want." 

"I-I'm fine. I-I'll g-get u-u-used to it." 

"Wanna come swimming with me? Nothing'll warm you up better than moving around." 

Louis nodded, stood up, and battle cried as he ran deeper into the water.  

Harry toppled over with laughter at the site of it, of Louis in his wet suit screaming and flailing his arms around to psych himself up for the cold.  

"C-come on," Louis called, and Harry was quick to follow his orders.  

"Wanna see how fast I can go?" Harry asked, but didn't even wait for a reply before he was shooting off into the deep.  

He tried diving up out of the water like a dolphin, but that just resulted in him bellyflopping back into the water.  

He could hear Louis laughing in the distance, so he followed the sound back to him and whined "I haven't practiced jumping yet!" 

"At l-least you t-tried, I guess." 

His lips were still blue, and it looked like he was struggling to keep his head above the water, so Harry put a hand around his waist and pulled him closer. Louis immediately threw his arms over Harry's shoulders, clearly grateful for the break from treading water.  

"You-you're warm," Louis muttered, and pulled himself closer. He wrapped his legs around Harry's waist and nestled his face into Harry's chest. "Sorry, b-but I'm fu-fucking cold." 

"It's lovely," Harry simply said in reply, and Louis chuckled into his skin. "Want me to swim us back to shore?" 

"W-wait for a bit. I-it's really pretty out here." 

And it was. They could see the lights of the pier from where they were, the reds and blues and yellows from the rides and the whites from the lamps along the boardwalk. The stars were shining brightly, too, much easier to see from the ocean than from the sidewalk.  

"Harry?" Louis asked, drawing Harry's attention back down from the sky. "Why didn't you tell m-me how you f-felt?" 

"I was scared," Harry admitted. There wasn't exactly any point in hiding anything from Louis now, not when he already knew the punchline. "I didn't know how you'd react. I've been trying to hint I was into you for  _years_ but whenever we got flirty you always freaked out." 

"It's h-hard f-for m-me," Louis started, then a shiver wracked his body so violently that Harry let up and swum them both back to shore. He shimmied himself up the beach while Louis ran up to grab their towels, and when Harry finally got up to where Louis was he was wrapped in a towel. Louis huddled up close, still shaking, so Harry put an arm over his shoulder and pulled him in even closer.  

They sat in silence for a long moment, just staring out at the sea, until Harry couldn't wait any longer. He just had to know "What is hard for you?" 

Louis didn't reply, didn't even shift his eyes from the water, so after a beat Harry opened his mouth to repeat himself only for Louis to beat him to it. "Dating is hard for me. And feelings for other people, those are hard to. I have them, but I don't really want to. It's risky." 

"You need to believe me, Lou, when I say I'm fine with being like this," Harry said carefully, but Louis shook his head. 

"It's not just that. I mean, of course I've always been worried about being with anyone in case -" he looked pointedly at Harry's tail. "That happened. But – I mean, you could have completely freaked out when I told you. You could have blamed me and left and I would understand if you did. It's a lot to go through just to be with someone. No one else has chosen a Tomlinson over their legs. I just always figured that if I ever did love someone who loved me back, they would leave eventually. It's just easier for me to distance myself from people." 

"Please don't distance yourself from me. Not any more than you have been, anyway. I'm not going to leave you. Don't you think that if I was going to I would have once you told me you were cursed? It sucks that you don't love me back but I'd rather have you as a friend than not at all, so here I still am." 

Louis shifted under his arm, and Harry began to lift it off him in case he was uncomfortable, but Louis stopped him with a soft "Leave it, please. You really are warm." 

"Merman powers, remember?" Harry said, flapping his tail. 

They were silent for a while, both watching the water lap gently at the shore. Even the seagulls were serene, full bellied from eating whatever the tourists had left on the beach. The moon was low in the sky, beaming white light over the ocean before them. It was so beautiful, drawing Harry to it. He felt empty somewhere deep down, was missing a piece, and something in his mind told him it could be found in the depths of the ocean. 

"Is it worth it?" Louis suddenly said, startling Harry and breaking him from his reverie.  Being with me, even if it's not how you want it, and – and having your whole life change because of it?" 

"Of course you're worth it." Harry said without hesitation. "You brought magic into my life, Lou, and there's nothing better than that. Except love, maybe, and you've given me that too." 

Louis sniffled. "I think I do love you, in a way. I just don't think – I don't know how. I'm sorry." 

"It's fine, really. I'll fall out of love with you one day and this will all be like some weird dream. You'll find someone else who'll love you no matter what, tail or no tail, and I will too. But until then, we've got each other just how we are. And we're good. Promise." 

\--- 

Harry couldn't shake that feeling he'd had that night on the beach.  

It had been almost a week since he'd been in the sea, and the missing piece of him felt as if it had tripled in size. 

He dreamt about the ocean, day and night, so late one evening Harry went to the beach alone. Louis was working, and Harry hadn’t bothered telling him.  

Louis didn't like it when Harry swam alone, not since the first night Harry changed and fainted in the sea.  

He was a worrier, and Harry knew that telling him would make him unnecessarily scared.  

Harry took his clothes off as he had done the last time, leaving them folded in a neat pile on the stones, before striding into the water.  

His legs changed as soon as his feet were submerged, Harry watching this time so he could pinpoint the exact moment, and he dived in as soon as the sea was deep enough. 

He went further out than he ever had before, until the lights along the pier looked as small as the stars above him.  

Harry no longer had that horrible feeling, of missing pieces and deep dark holes; he was the most at peace he had felt in – well, he couldn't really remember. 

He tried picturing a time, perhaps in his childhood, with his mother, but he could barely conjure up an image of her face. She looked blurry, like a figure in the distance, and the harder Harry tried to get closer the further she got away.  

He panicked only for a moment before the ocean calmed him again, drawing him into it, promising solace.  

He began to imagine what it would be like to stay out there forever, to have no more human worries in the world, and he wanted it. He wanted the peace and the freedom and the space the ocean was offering him. 

But then he thought of Louis, and he snapped out of it. 

He swum as fast as he could towards the shore, ignoring the calls of the sea. They were like whispers, only he felt them deep inside rather than heard them, and it was terrifying.  

The closer he got to the shore, the softer they became, and by the time Harry was on land again he was questioning whether he had even felt them. 

He wrapped himself in the towels he had brought then lay down on the rocky beach, breathing deeply, trying to settle himself.  

At one point when he was out there in the sea he truly considered never returning to land, had wanted to dive down and stay there more than anything else in the world, and it was unsettling to say the least.  

Harry loved his life in Brighton. He liked his job and his flat and how his Mum and his friends were only an hour away on the train. Most of all, he liked Louis, and he liked keeping promises, and he had promised to Louis he'd never leave. It wasn't right, what happened out there. It wasn't natural. Something happened, something controlled him so easily, and he never wanted to experience it again. 

Harry didn't tell Louis about it. 

He couldn't, not with how sure he was that Louis would leave Brighton on some misguided attempt at heroism. The only thing that had stopped Harry from listening to the water was remembering Louis, and if he was gone then Harry would have nothing anchoring him to land.  

He needed to get rid of the tail, though, and as far as he knew that meant falling out of love with Louis.  

So he did what any young millennial would do, and googled it. 

He searched  _How to fall out of love_ and condensed every single list he could find into one just for him.  

And first on the list was: let yourself feel sad.  

Harry had already done that, so he went to skip it, but stopped.  

Had he? He'd sort of just – accepted it – when Louis said the feelings weren't mutual. He'd been a little distracted by the tail thing, mind, but he had barely even given himself a chance to really dwell on it. 

When he did, he sort of wanted to cry.  

He'd had such strong feelings for Louis for so many years, and finally he was going to have to say goodbye to them. He needed to mourn them and move on, and until that moment he had never truly wanted to.  

It meant that for a few days he could barely even look at Louis, which just made his friend even more attentive. Any time Harry left his room, Louis was quick to ask what was bothering him. 

"I'm trying to get over you," was all Harry could say, and Louis would always leave him alone after he said it.  

Second on the list had been to distract himself, so he called Peter weeks after their first (and last) date and asked him if they could go clubbing together some time. "As mates," Harry had added, in case Peter hadn't got the message, but it turned out he had already moved on to someone else.  

"You would be perfect jealousy bait," Peter had exclaimed gleefully, and Harry couldn’t have imagined a better outcome. 

Brighton was Britain's gay capital, so Harry knew that a night out would offer endless distractions.  

It did, in the form of blondes and brunettes and even a blue haired guy, but it didn't make Harry feel any better.  

In fact, it was worse, because the ache in his chest refused to fade and the wedge between Louis and him was growing.  

He missed Louis, but it had to happen, because as all of this was going on the voice calling him to the ocean was getting louder.  

The pull was getting stronger by the day, and Harry was losing his will to stay on land.  

Working so close to the ocean was draining him, so that each day he came home and collapsed on his bed, refusing to leave until the morning.  

It felt like it had been an age, but he stood corrected when Louis stormed in one evening demanding to know what was going on.  

"I have barely seen you all week!" Louis snapped. "Either you tell me what's going on, or I leave!" 

"Then leave!" Harry had shouted back, and stuck his head beneath a pillow. He remained that way while Louis climbed onto the bed beside him, only giving in and taking it off his face when he felt a hand around his wrist. 

"What's going on?" Louis asked, gently this time. Harry looked into his eyes, noting the worry and the fear and the deep sadness. They looked as tumultuous as the sea, just as unwavering against Harry's defences. 

"I'm scared," Harry started, but the tears began to fall. 

Louis pulled Harry into his arms then, holding him tight even as his shirt soaked through, running his fingers through Harry's hair. "I didn't mean it," he whispered. "I won't leave, not if you don't." 

"I need to change back," Harry continued to sob. "I need to and I can't." 

"Why, love?" He asked gently, stroking his fingers through Harry's hair.  

"Because I can't get over you. And I need to. Or the sea will take me." 

Louis lowered himself on the bed so they were eye to eye, taking Harry's hands in his and pulling them towards his chest. He held them there, silent until Harry's sobs subsided.  

"I don't know how not to love you, Lou," Harry sniffled. "I'm trying. I'll try harder. I just need you but I can't have you or – or – I'll be stuck like this forever." 

"I don't think I want that," Louis said carefully. 

"You think I don't want that too? I want to be able to have a bloody shower, Lou. I want to be able to go swimming when it's light out." 

"I mean I don't think I want you to get over me," Louis corrected. 

Harry's breath caught in his throat and for a moment he let himself hope. But he was still fairly reasonable, and he'd learnt from Louis' last emotional declaration that what he was saying was probably not how it sounded to Harry. 

"I've just been thinking a lot lately," Louis continued, Harry not having found the words to reply. "I have always been attracted to you. I've thought about the two of us being more before. A lot, actually, especially early on. But I never considered it to be a possibility. I convinced myself that how I felt for you was the same as how I felt for all my friends." 

Harry's voice cracked as he asked "But it's not?"  

Louis smiled small and shook his head. "Not even close. I love you, Haz. Not just as a friend. I should have known ages ago, what with how many dreams I've had about kissing you," he added with a grin. 

Harry wished he could smile back, but he was too doubtful. It was exactly what he'd always wanted to hear so he sure as hell wasn't going to believe it so easily. "How do you know you haven't just convinced yourself to love me out of pity or guilt? How can you be so sure? If you loved me you wouldn't have to think about it, you'd just feel it." 

"I told you, I haven't been convincing myself that what I feel is love, I've just let myself feel what I feel without convincing myself the opposite. How can I prove it to you?" 

"Tell me why you love me, then? I love you for how caring and smart and beautiful you are, how you don't take anyone's shit. How you're unapologetically you. Why do you love me?" 

"Now you're just looking for compliments," Louis laughed. But he sobered quickly when Harry's face remained stoney. "All right, here goes. I love your different way of looking at things. I mean, how many people in the world would wake up a mermaid one day and just go with it? And I love how open you are, and honest with others as well as yourself. You're different in so many ways, wholly unique, and I feel lucky everyday that you're in my life. Do you need me to go on?” he asked, but barely gave Harry any time to answetlr before he was adding “I love how you make me laugh, I love how you dress, I love your face, I love that you always smell like cinnamon sugar. I love that when you say you won't leave me I can actually believe it because you aren't the kind of person who would lie, not about that." 

Harry's chest felt like it was going to explode, like his heart had quadrupled in size and was about to bust through his ribcage to throw itself at Louis. He couldn't stop smiling, didn't want to, and when Louis began to slowly lean in Harry was impossibly quick to fill the gap between their lips.  

"You even taste like cinnamon sugar," Louis sighed against his mouth, and Harry shut him up by deepening the kiss.  

Until he stopped, and pulled back enough to ask "Are you sure? Does this feel weird to you?" 

Louis groaned, and climbed on top of Harry, straddling his hips while still holding his hands. "Yes I'm sure, and no it doesn't feel weird. It feels right, if anything." 

"Good," Harry said with a grin. "You can go back to kissing me now." 

\--- 

Harry decided he actually quite loved Summer in Brighton, despite the tourists and the sticky fingered children and the shrieking gulls, because it was the only time of year that Louis would brave the water to swim with him.  

He said as much to Louis, who grinned and said "Not all of us can withstand freezing water temperatures, babe." Then he stole a chip from Harry's lap, because apparently those tasted better. 

"I suppose not," Harry grinned back, looking out at the ocean before them. "I should be so lucky." 

And he was. 

The sea didn't call to him, not like it used to.  

He still wanted to be in it as much as possible, no matter the weather, but Louis was a far louder and more persuasive force. 

He was a lighthouse, shining bright even in the darkest of storms, and the ocean had accepted defeat before the war had even begun. 

Harry was no longer caught in a riptide, being pulled this way and that.  

The curse was simply a blessing in disguise, had brought Harry and Louis together, and he wouldn't change it for anything. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come follow me on [Tumblr ](http://harryventura.tumblr.com)  
> or please reblog my [Tumblr fic post ](https://harryventura.tumblr.com/post/159541954112/you-can-make-me-whole-again-pairing-harry-styles)  
> if you liked it!!


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